Dear Samantha

Letters to my daughter, whenever she may be.

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I tend to become cerebral when it comes to trying to understand something... and YouTube has been quite helpful in that respect.

This was from an actual lecture on the psychology of love.

I like it because it is based on psychology (one of my favorite topics), and I think that it is very applicable to real life.

What's troubling about it is that it is so...real. I mean, I fret a little when I see an entry where there was something about how people can like other people more because they are closer together (the proximity effect). I mean, the guy I like is so far away... and, well, there are so many people he could like,

:-(

Ok, anyway, wha


Photo by: Hersley Ven-Casero

I took a picture of a picture a few weeks ago.
There was a photo exhibit called "Vivid" at the Paseo place at the Boulevard.
Three photographers displayed their best work, and I admired them for it.

This particular one caught my eye...the depth of focus and the black and white elements made for a picture that was riveting. It "grabs" you due to the simplicity of the elements, and the focus point, the heart. 

It's either that, or, in my current state, I am partial to themes of love, and longing in the literature I prefer to read nowadays. There is a time when we need to use other people's words to make sense of what we are feeling inside. And oftentimes, to let people know how we feel inside.  

What used to come easily for me in the past is now a struggle. Perhaps I have grown older, and matured, but in the same vein, I feel that I may have lost that essential intrepid nature when writing. I seem to be wrapped up in the fear of rejection. The fear of not knowing, and maybe the fear of knowing that the possible outcome might not be what I want. 

I have gone through much pain and rejection in my life, and I think that it may have been the fodder for which I feel that I may not be strong enough for even more possible deluges. I find it harder and harder to take risks. 

I find it harder and harder to take chances. 

A friend of mine (whose opinion I trust because it is a purely platonic friendship) has told me that sometimes I just have to "go for it", if it doesn't work, I'll survive, but if it does, I could end up being happy. 

That's the scariest thing in the world...taking a chance.

Like being on a precipice, and deciding whether you should just free-fall.

--- 

This is the scary thought of the day. 




Dear Sammy,

When I was younger, my parents were very frugal in terms of getting me and my brother toys (or electronic gadgets). They figured it was an expense that could be put off for another day.

I remember when I was a teenager, and cellphones and texting were just starting to go mainstream... I'd ask them for a Nokia 5110 (which then, was a really big thing), which of course they vetoed, because it was really expensive.

I remember one time, when I was stressing that I needed such and such because it "had more features at about the same price..." And my father would be going, "What do you need features for??"

(And so on and so forth.)

Anyway, fast forward to today, when I just signed a phone contract a few weeks ago. :-)

I just love my new phone, and it comes in my favorite color, so it's pretty funky. it's exactly like the one above. I feel kind of giddy to think that I finally did get what I want, at the time that I wanted it (without anyone doing it for me.)

(I think it was "The One" I had always been waiting for. :D)

(so...#GirlPower haha)

Love,

S.


I don't drive.

Everyone knows this... I'm probably one of the most loyal consumers of public transportation (or carpooling) around. I prefer to ride buses and pedicabs here where I'm from. They're faster (buses) and more airy (the pedicabs). 

I normally don't like to start small talk on public transportation, so as much as possible, I take the ride which will afford me the fastest travel, and the "breeziest" ride. :-)

Anyhow, one afternoon, I found myself getting on a pedicab with an agitated kid throwing a tantrum, because of something his dad probably did or said. When I got on, he was on the main seat, and started hitting the seat I was going to be in angrily with his right fist. He didn't hit me, but he was furious that his dad passed by to pick up passengers. I had to chuckle. He was pretty amusing. 

:-) I'm no expert in child care, but I do know that kids have very short attention spans and love vivid colors, so I took out my iPad and proceeded to open my Pepi Doctor app. It IS a very colorful one where kids can pretend to be doctors and give first aid for bruises, toothaches and even broken bones. 

That got his attention. :-)

He quieted down, and calmed down enough to not cry anymore. He also sat up and was engrossed in the screen. I thought it'd make it more interactive if he also had fun too. So...I tried Snapchat. on a whim. 

:-p he did calm down.

When I arrived at where I was going, his dad, the driver, grinned at me, and said, "Say, "Thank you Ate!" to the boy. 

He just looked at me. And didn't say anything at all. 

(There is absolutely no happy ending to this story...the whole point of it lang is this, "You don't have to fight fire with fire with a kid having a tantrum. It is more...physiologic to just distract him. That way, no one gets hurt.)

And the reason why I know this? Simple.

I'm a big kid. 

:-D

Love, 

S.






 










Last night, I wanted to get an education in country music...

I remembered my friend Michael talking about it and how he liked it...actually, he can't remember exactly what group he mentioned (I don't think he did, because I'd have remembered it. haha).

What I remember though was a different thing altogether about country music...and why he liked it.

As with everything from that afternoon, I've learned to look at things with new eyes. It did indeed push me out of my usual comfort zone, but in a good way. Afterwards, I had a bit of a time "readjusting" to my usual environs after having talked to someone who felt so similar to me, but had seen so much more of the world than I ever have in the same number of years (we're almost the same age).

Anyway, this was one of his suggestions...it was one of my favorites. Stoney Larue is something else... That man can write! :-) I like other songs now, but this was a good opener. :-)

Thanks Mike!

Love,

S.


With the looming deadline, I've decided to write something that would help get me started.

Since I've promised to write [almost] everyday, I think this will also serve the purpose to "warm me up" and give me a much-needed jog of my writing skills. This will be a free-form piece, not much editing here, so it's going to be crap, pretty much.

SO anyway, Sammy, this was just another one of those days... I saw some patients, talked to people, and ate some things. You know, the usual day.

There was nothing out of the ordinary today, except that I think I scored one little triumph with one patient today. :-) I cannot fully take credit for her recovery, because for the most part, she did most of it, and I have only been there occasionally to guide her. However, it was a team effort, and she has the desire now to help other people who are recovering as well.

When she started, she was an emotional mess, all tears and anger and poor insight. And with her willingness, and the constant support of her benefactors, she has improved.

It was a wow moment. :-)

Love,

E.
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About Me

Eloisa
I've never been married, never been pregnant, and I've never been a mother, but someday I'll be ready...and I'll probably name her Samantha, and call her Sammy sometimes. (But right now, I'll have to stick to arming her with some 30-something life lessons and wisdom - in retrospect, which is perhaps the best kind).
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